Thursday, 20 October 2011

Women Are Complicated Coz' Society Made Them So


“A world clouded by conflict, hypocrisies of philandering men, impassioned strains of domestic life and the seething silences of women. The only solace in a woman's life is her children. The constant support of the children remains a touchstone in life until their own revelations sends her beliefs into a spin. Most stories are about broken household followed and accompanied by chasing happiness and restoring beauty to one’s life.”

This is an extract, edited and constructed in my own to present the story of most houses where violence is just a passing phenomenon. A woman’s life is about being born into a patriarchal society dominated by culture and ethics, growing up pleasing her parents and then getting married and bringing up her children to please her husband and her in-laws. Where growing up means compromising one’s own dreams to that of her parents’ and societies’ so-called manners, marriage is about adjusting. However not every women face such a life but most of them do.

A lot has been said, written, discussed and argued about the way women are treated. A lot of organizations have come up trying to help and aware not only women about their rights but the people too. But violence or the way women has been living cannot be eradicated unless women themselves want it to. It is this area where no one, one outer force can help. A person unwilling to be helped cannot be helped.

Let us put forward a small story of a woman who is respected in the society and been brought up in the most liberal way yet her married life is one secret and the daily emotional turmoil she faces.

She came from a well to do family and has been brought up in the most liberal way compared to other girls who grew up with her. She trusted her parents and their decisions to marry the man of their choice. Soon after she settled in her job, she was married off. Everything seem fine, two children were born until she discovered that her husband is one abuser and drunkard. He abused her emotionally for every failure be it about a small water leak in the kitchen or unable to pay the electricity bill. She was bashed up from first to last. Her children saw this. One grew up to leave the mother alone with the abusive father and the later stayed on trying to save the mother. However she refused to be helped. She said it is for what society will say she stayed on, it is for the betterment of the children and their future and lastly she chased happiness in small things and hoped of a better life like once it used to be before the children were born

The effect of such a house had its mark on the children too. The one child who left turned out to be like the father, adapting the ways of the abuser and for the younger one, it was like the mother, silence was the best weapon and adjusting and compromising to abuses, hoping that later the younger one will have a better life, away from this place.

However such has its effects on the future that can’t be changed. Such are women who give in to this abuses and violence in the name of ‘what society will say and for the better of the children. ’

That is not the end. Then there are women who treat women badly and inflict the same amount of pain which they had gone through once. It is the theory of “I have gone through it and now you will to, it is a ritual.”
I strongly believe women have no respect for women more than men. However not all; generalizing would not be right. There are women who treat their fellow sex in such a rowdy way those men who witness such feels disgusted and sick. And what about these children, daughters who are brought up in dysfunctional houses and grow up to treat both the parents in abusive way and daughters who hold the mother responsible for all the faults and blames that she hasn’t been able to bring them well and she failed to adjust.

Be it domestic or foreign, violence and abuses against women should be put end to. Even society treats women in a stereotyped way as if women were born to face such atrocities and if any women have any problem in their life it is because of her fault. Sometimes it is but not always.

Having written all this I would like to conclude, women who face such situations still and succumb to it have their own reasons. However this shouldn’t be the case. The future should learn from the mistakes and wrong doings of today to make sure they don’t the same life like their past. Some are affected while growing up in such unfit environment which takes a long time to disappear. But it is these from which they should learn and make sure they don’t provide such unhealthy future to their future.

P.S. This post is not only for Violence Against Women but for the young who should learn to make sure their future isn’t as regretting as they have witnessed. The future entirely depends on their own actions and decisions they make.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Twitter – The new search engine?

I have a tendency of Google’ing everything on this Earth. Be it lipsticks, shoes or mobile phones. I Google about movie timings, ongoing sale offers, sunglasses, people, technology, just about everything. Whenever I need help I just Google. So much so that I don’t find it necessary to ask anyone about where to head for a nice lunch or where to watch movies. Although there is one problem that I face continuously. That is the numerous search results it returns. For example if I Google ‘movie timing of Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster’ it returns about 9,330,000 results to me, enough to confuse me and scroll and read through most of them. It is a tiring and time consuming process. Not only a tiring process but something that really irritates me.



The next best option is to ask people. However your buddies and your acquaintances won’t have the correct answer of your every query. It is impossible that they will know each and every matter. So what to do? Ask random people! That is what I do.

Twitter is a micro-blogging site. Although it is more powerful than large blog sites. One tweet can change the world. Change views. Become news. In the last one year every major news channels and newspapers have entered social networking with Twitter. Recently Delhi Airport registered itself. Then there are celebrities and country heads. 



I found Twitter really helpful when it came to enquiring about different stuff. In the last one month I have enquired about mobile phones, books, movies, beer bottles, people, places and what not. I have never been disappointed with the suggestions and replies aka mentions. I didn’t have to go around and Google about them. In between the numerous replies I selected the ones that seem quite to the point and went ahead with it. What did I gain? Time and the trouble of going through each and every link that Google return, to know which will be the most helpful to me.

Yes there are times when I Google twitter replies too but my search gets narrowed. For example if I tweet about “which is the best android phone, budget 10k”; plus I add the technical term “Plz RT.” In minutes, although not seconds, I get my replies and reasons too. These reasons are short and to the point. I then know which can be trustworthy and influential. If I feel there is a need of doing a bit more Google search on the given replies, I do but by that time I have already got my answers.



There are limitations. Just like I don’t expect my friends to know the answer to every query there are matters which random people cannot answer also. That is where these search engines power over social networking. Also the way SEO folks work on making their results visible to the extreme level, it is expected that twitter or any other social networking site may not live to defeat them.

Still, imagine Twitter, a site where people are answering to your queries and not mechanical search engines where people are hired to work on improving search results. Imagine the power behind such a site which if they try can overpower the search engines.

One would argue that different firms are recruiting men to open their social media accounts, mostly twitter accounts and promote themselves through it. But there is a difference. When HCL replies to my random query about icore5 based laptop reviews, I will instantly know it is because they want themselves to be promoted. However at that moment if someone I don’t know or even know and is using such a product replies to me and updates me some reviews I will know which one to follow. Again the difference of Social Media folks is there main job is to attract visitors through socializing with them on different social media platforms, here Twitter. 



Now it depends upon Jack Dorsey (Executive Chairman), Dick Costolo(CEO), Evan Williams (Director) and Biz Stone (Creative director) how they creatively use Twitter and how tweeters use this platform as a search engine. Whatever may be the future, Twitter and tweeters surely seem to help people in deciding about holiday plans, vacations, mobile phones, books, movies, etc. more than Google or any other search engine these days. 

P.S. Google has a Twitter account. And Google’s reply to Twitter is Google+ which hit off quickly only to disappear slowly.