Sunday, 25 March 2012

Perfectly ending up at the wrong place

It was around eleven o’clock at night, when the guard on his daily routine prowl, made his way to her desk and lowered himself to whisper in her ears, “Ma’am go home, you work too much.” He stepped back, smiled, saluted and left. A wave of warm air passed through her, her insides loosened up and rather than getting angry for being asked or even requested to leave early, she felt good. She shut down her work and left office, for the first time in many years, making the plainest of the people in the office happy. Once, her office was her identity, once. This has been the place that made her famous, bold and strong. She had always been loyal to the place, since the day she joined.

Tonight, she didn’t feel like going home. She never went home so early. She wanted to hang out somewhere, not the pub where everyone got drunk and not even the corner of the blue door disco where she went into a trance that she never liked visiting.

However, she made her way to the nearest pub around her office. Seeing a woman all alone, the security at the gate stepped front. She quietly got inside, without uttering a word, without disturbing anybody. Just simply once, she held her head up and looked straight into the security personnel’s eyes and stared for a second or two.

Once inside, she knew where she wanted to be. She didn’t wander or wait to find a place. She didn’t need to analyze the mood, she believed wherever she went, the place would adjust according to her moods.

She made way to the extreme corner of the place. Only heartbroken or people who wanted to be left alone made way to this part of the world, she was lucky that none of those sorts had occupied the place. However, neither was she heartbroken nor wanted to be alone. She just simply loved the corner, watching the world from an end and not having to turn back to see what is happening behind.

She had stopped visiting parties, pubs, discos, etc long back. Not that she chose to be anti-social but nothing interested her. Occasionally she was seen in office parties, if it was needed; if it was urgent. Today, however, she felt different. She wanted to be there and see how much the life in this extrovert yet mysterious world had changed.

Two hours later, after finishing her third glass of her regular - screw driver, she made her way outside. She was bored and sad.

“The world is going nowhere and it is not-at-all as amusing as it used to be, may be, once.”

Outside, suddenly, it started raining. Standing near the car, she thought, “What if I could walk all the way home in this rain, what if?” She hated driving after drinking; however, she hated taking a cab, also. What she wanted now, she couldn’t get.

She stood there, in the rain, drenching. She now wanted to go home but not in the car and her house was too far away for her to walk back. She simply stood there.

She found herself falling asleep, her muscles letting go and her body slowly loosening up. She held the hood of the car and tried standing but she was too tired. She finally got inside the car and closed the door. She let out a deep sigh. May be a tear rolled down from her eyes, to mix with the water falling from her drenched hair. She pushed the accelerator and drove her way, away, from the place. She didn’t regret, however, being there.

The car came to a halt, somewhere. She was half awake, half asleep. She was happy to be not caught by any policeman ready to terrorize her to the prison for drunk-sleep driving. She had always been a proper driver, only occasionally speeding and breaking traffic rules. When she reached the gate, she realized it wasn’t her place, neither her area, nor her destination. She looked up, familiar windows, familiar doors and suddenly — a familiar face.

“Hello madam, so good to see you after so many months. How have you been?”

Without replying anything, she walked back, tipsy; unable to stand properly she made her way inside. She kick started the engine and…

Black Rose Gal thinks people write because they love to write and not just for people to read. The third part of the Perfect series.  

The post is a continuation of Part I - Perfect… and Part II - She is not so Perfect but...

Friday, 9 March 2012

She is not so Perfect but...

It was two thirty on her watch. She badly hoped people were working now and not wasting their time sleeping. She looked outside through the car window, she loved the city, the streets, the trees, the stations, cafes and … No she didn’t so much love the people. Her gaze shifted from the empty bus stops to the traffic signals. She was not so fond of buying a car but now that she was all alone, no one to concentrate on she decided to pamper herself. The first gift – A brand new home. She moved away from the crowded lanes and found herself an old, savvy bungalow. It did hurt her pocket but she thought it was worth the happiness, after all what will she do with so much leaves in the bag? Next thing was the car. The car was bought just like that. She was never fond of cars or the idea of driving back but then something made her go and learn driving and then buy a car that she used to admire once. Now every night she doesn’t have to fight to find an auto or think about finding a proper taxi.

She made a turnaround Jacob’s lane, she could see her home, sweet home, and suddenly all her thoughts came to a halt and the idea of laying down on the couch and being able to see the sea and the moon and the stars and be with her boy German shepherd made her the happiest. In an instant she had forgotten about work. She could see Jim wagging his tail; he was her smartest boy, he could sense her from great distances. She parked the car in front of the small door. As soon as she opened the door, Jim came running and toppled her down. Home sweet home – she thought. She felt. She loved.

Jim got up pulled her by her trousers and they went inside. Yes he missed her, and not the day has gone by in the previous eight months that Jim has missed the daily welcome with love and affection.

All freshened up, she got herself rested on the couch. She preferred the couch; she didn’t lie on the bed for the last eight months now. Not because things changed but she found the couch to be more welcoming. And beside Jim liked it, so she liked it.

Jim had rested for the night, next to her, the head on her lap. She kept her hand on Jim’s head and thought what if Jim was not what he is and what if Jim was more than what he is. She chucked out all the thoughts and took the laptop and started working on few unfinished stuff. She amazed her own self. The amount of work she did daily. She wondered whether it was out of love or out of I have nothing to do. Whatever it was she enjoyed it and she didn’t let anything else bother her.

She checked whether Jim had fallen asleep, she didn’t want him to move around with her, she wanted him to rest his unsteady mind, and he needed it. She got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to make some coffee for her. She sat at the table and drank, she wondered again when was the last time she had tea, long back, years back. When she went to meet her uncle and when she went to the theatre’s cafĂ© with her and had the special tea when was made with tulsi and mint and lemon that she didn’t like but as her kid sister used to go, so did she. Kid sister, cousin, she remembered. For a moment she felt her heart went inside and in a minute she saw everything that happened in the last eight months.

She fell asleep on the table while thinking.

Around four at night, the door bell rang. Jim woke up and started barking, she made him quiet and went towards the door. She felt suddenly struck by cold breeze. Must be the sea, she thought. The door bell rang again. She went to the door and stood there for few minutes. Why I have a feeling I know who is here, she thought. Am I dreaming, she asked herself.

She started walking back, thinking that she might be dreaming and sleepwalking.

The door bell rang for the third time. She froze at her position. She waited for the door bell to ring again. However this time it didn’t ring. She went ahead, put her ear near the door whether she could hear anyone walk away. She couldn’t. She finally went ahead and opened the door. No one was there. Just a small packet. She took it and went inside.

Inside, she sat on the table and kept the packet in front of her. What is this, she thought. And then she opened it.

Tea bags.

Her worst thoughts came rushing in. where is she? What is she doing? Is she fine?

However, what had to happen, happened and she couldn’t do anything. She quietly left everything there and went to her bedroom. For the first time in eight months, for the first time in this house, she slept on her bed.

Black Rose Gal has her worst nightmares coming true. She suddenly found that anything that she write, a part of it or the total thing comes true. She decided to stop writing. However you can’t stop her writing. So for now, she has decided to write things that she wants to happen. Hope at least a part of them happens.

The post is a continuation of the previous post Part I - Perfect…

The full Perfect series for all the readers.