Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Feedback form story

It was 11 PM. She was transfixed in her laptop. It was time to shut the shop. He walked towards her. "Ma'am, it is time to shut the shop." She did not hear. She had her earphones on, and he heard her listening to Jason Derulo. "Real intense," he thought. He said once again, "Ma'am?"

She was trying to write something, at least she had managed to write two sentences compared to yesterday's two words. As she was listening to the song and trying to write at the same time, she saw a shadow hover around her. She finally looked up, the man in the green apron and black shirt and she saw his lips move. She read, "M-A-A-M. Ma'am." She quickly removed her earphones, "Oui?" She corrected and said, "Yes?"


"Ma'am, it is time to shut the shop. It is past 11 o'clock." He tapped his wrist watch. She got a little unsettled. She flustered. "What am I supposed to do," she wondered. "Cheque please," she requested. The man stared back at her. "Has she been drinking?" She looked back, he saw her staring at her. She got a little irritated. "What?" She asked. "You have already paid," he said.

She snapped at herself. "Damn!" She looked at the man, she noted his black shirt and green apron, once again. She tried to read the name but gave up. She needed an eye check-up, it has been long pending. "Sorry, my bad. I forgot." He replied, "No worries." He turned to walk back, but he stopped. He turned back. She saw him put his hand inside his pocket and took out a paper. And she thought, for once it is going to be a gun.

"Will you please fill up this form?" He asked. She took the paper from his hand and started reading it. "Feedback," it read. She sighed. She wondered, "They still exist?" She said, "Yes I will." She sat to fill it up." He waited. He saw her put her hand inside her bag. He thought, "She spends so much time in her laptop. Am so sure, she does not have a pen." But, at that time, she took a fountain pen and started scribbling. "They still exist?" He wondered.

He waited, as she finished filling up the form. While she was filling up the form, from the corner of her eyes, she saw him, staring at her, watching her hand and fingers move. "Disagree. Agree." She finished. "There," she handed over the paper and kept the pen inside. He took it, disappointed at the pace it got over; said, "Thank you." And started walking towards the counter.

As she was packing her stuff, the man returned. The others in the shop by now had shut the front doors. The side door of the shop was open. She was the only customer. One of them had shut the fire alarm by now and lighted a cigarette, near the window, with a small opening, making sure the seniors did not notice. But they did. One of them joined him, followed by five others. Another four cigarette came out. One of them refused the offer of the cigarettes. She thought, "He does not smoke." However, at that moment, he took out a rolling paper and started rolling a joint. She sighed.

He was still standing, as she saw all that happen in front her and pack her stuff. "Oui?" She said, once again. "Are you french?" He asked. She smiled and said, "No." He stopped and wondered. She waited for him to talk. He did not. She looked at him, now, straight into his eyes. Two coloured, she said to herself, "Heterochromia iridum." She ignored, as she started to notice him properly now. Six feet, may six feet two inches. Blonde, wavy hair. Pink lips. Stubble. Brown eyebrows. "Might have coloured his hair," she told herself.

She finally asked, "Yes, how can I help you?" "Should have not said that," she told herself. He saw her. He noted, he noted that she was checking him out, subtlety.

"You said in your feedback that you wanted the staff here to be a little more friendly." He waited for her to say something. She was not listening. She was watching his lips move. He continued, "So, here I am. Hello. Sorry, if you think we are not friendly." And he extended his right hand.

Her gaze broke. She saw his hand coming towards her hand. She waited, she waited for the words to reach her mouth. "Hey, I did not mean that." She did not extend her hand back.

"It is okay," he said. "You come here every day." He wanted to say more, but he stopped and took his hand back, inside his pocket. She saw him wanting to say more.

"Yes, I come after work." She replied. She wanted to now run. The conversation was leading somewhere, she did not want.

"Yes, I know. I am sorry if I am stopping you. But, just wanted to make sure that we are not unfriendly. You come here every day, you are an important person in... life," he stopped and ended the sentence.

She was not looking at him anymore. She had finished packing her stuff. After four cups of coffee and two double-meat sandwich, she was not expecting this conversation. She picked up her bags and looked at him now.

He saw her dump all her belongings inside the bags. He understood that she was not comfortable with this conversation. And now she was looking at him. He wanted. "Another step towards her," he thought. But, instead he said, "The door behind is open. The staff leaves from that side." He did not want to complete the sentence. However, he did, "You can too."

Before he could say anything else, she turned around and started walking. He saw her walking away. But, wait. She stopped and she walked back. "Can I have the feedback form, that one" She pointed at the paper in his hand.

He stretched his hand and gave it to her. She took his pen from his breast pocket. He did not see that coming, but in slow motion saw her hand reach for it and her hand return, near the paper. She handed scribbled something back on the paper and handed it over to him, once again. She said, "See you tomorrow." And she disappeared.

He wanted to reply but could not. He looked at the paper. It read "Strongly Disagree. Except one guy. He was friendly. Even though he forgot to mention his name."

1 comment:

nidhi said...

very ncie..enjoyed reading.