Saturday, 21 February 2009

Bollyfication

I hope all of you has heard of the song - "Californication". The famous song about hollywood by RED HOT CHILI PEPPER. Well here is a look at Bollyfication. Every second Indian now days dreams of becoming an actor like Shahrukh or actress like Mallika, oops! I mean like Rani or Preiti. And this want of many Indians have lead to the making of reality shows like Zee Cine Star Ki Khoj. If not actress or actor, it has to be singer or a model :-|

ISN'T THERE OTHER JOB IN INDIA THAT IS WORKING GOOD?

This word Bollywood has become a place like heaven, a word that many things will lead them to heaven. Many think it is JUST LIKE HEAVEN. But Bollywood really is? Ageing stars using Botox? 50 year old woman using the tag of 30? A senior actor making love scenes with 18 years old(At his age people retire :-|).

Really it is hard to know what Bollywood is in real? Scandals doesn't stop stars from creating another one, critics get to know the movie better than the makers of movie before them, music director is the real winner. It is a place where you get artists, struggling actors picked up from the unknown places and also the star (worthless) sons (I might be cynical but hey very few shine)

If RED HOT CHILI PEPPER was here today in Bollywood they could have made their Part - II of the song - Dream of Bollyfication, every guy and girls dream...

Wednesday, 18 February 2009

N's Great Jokes...


A friend of mine, fond of jokes and cracking them on me(I suppose :-|) had sent me the most wonderful mail I have ever read, just check it...

This is for all those who are

1. Bengalees in general
2. Bengalees from Kolkata in particular
3. People who know Bengalees ( 1 and/or 2 )
4. People who want to know Bengalees ( 1 and/or 2 )
5. Others : just to increase your knowledge about Bengalees


A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakattan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'West Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision . For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.

C is for Chappell (as in Greg ). Currently, this is the Bengaali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.' (If you don't sleep, Chappel will come and take you away!!)

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.

E is for Eeesh . This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average, Bengali women use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh . These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh !'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a daknaam (pet name) like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, Poka, Boka, etc. While every Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, Imli, etc.

H is for Harmonium . This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola . No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second.

K is for Kee Kaando ! It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu). Kee Kelo is a close second

L is for Lungi - the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt. Everest .

M is for Minibus . These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers. M is also for Maunkey Cap and Muphler!!

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)

P for Phootball . This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Queen . This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word one can think of. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

R is for Robi Thakur . Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second!

S is for Shourav . Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by doing a little bit of 'joggo' and 'maanot'.

T is for Trams . Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

U is for Aambrela . When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence . Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1947.

W is for Water . For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for X'mas . It's very big in Kolkata, with ParkStreet fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday . Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone

Sunday, 15 February 2009

No Comments Coz I'm Obssessed


After writing the last blog, I expected at least ten comments on my page but no there wasn't a single comment. Hours later after pushing friends forcing them I was able to put on one comment. Another came from a fellow blogger who check my blogs whenever I update them. So nice of you two. BUT what about those who doesn't...??? People this days have become so lazy what to tell(though no point pointing at others coz I myself have become one). Like after the economic downturn people only check half value things, they also check the blog and leave without commenting. Hello a writer always want an appreciation, critical or not. Other friends who have read they have just commented me via scraps or messages. Friends why not here...:-(


After reading the last blog, one of my friends have also asked me to put down another issue in front of all. Oh! "G" you are making me write so much...!!! Extra!!! Never mind I love writing. Hhhee... He was so frustrated with others that while pointing me the issue he himself had forgotten that he himself is the thing he is mentiong. Phew! Know what it is? Being obssessed. Yes this days people are so so so much obssessed with themselves they have forgotten about their fellow citizen or even the place they live. They exploit without thinking there consequences. Hello!!! Mate its you yourself going to suffer later. You won't get what you want if you use all everything now and that also in a wrong way. You forget what you are saying, or doing or wher you are doing. You don't mind behaving like that but when others behave with us in the same way we do...!!! Eh! Why Mike? You are getting what you deserve, so SHUT UP!

Obssession about dog is good, where beautiful painting is good, the mother nature is good, preserving tigers is good but oneself is NOT. It is called Pride and Pride leads to fall. Example:: Ramalinga Raju(I hope I have spelled it correct :-s)

Anyways while concluding I would like to say please please please...!!! Comment and don't be so obssessive. The world has a lot, check everythign equally and enjoy them too;-)

Cheers...!!!

Saturday, 14 February 2009

I Want To See You Pregnant



Have you ever heard your friend telling you, "I want to see you pregnant"?
And that also your "girl" friend? NO..Na!! Yes neither me but guys I did heard. Its was horrifying. I got a friend who just told me I want to see you pregnant. I was confused. Wtf...??? She then said, chill it means I want to see you happy. With you husband, children... Achcha so here it is. It is love lol...!!!

People who love you the most always wants to see you happy but while expressing their love they end up saying things which will not only confuse you but make you feel awkward. After all it is really very hard to express your feelings.

I got one friend who loves me a lot. "J" and me are like love birds. The only difference is that we two are girls :-|
Yes, we are. But our love is not sexual...!!! We are homo-social not homo-sexual. There are lot of people in India who confuses relationships. They don't have problem seeing two girls or two guys living together but if two guys or girl walk together, Ahem Ahem...!!!

So friends, never confuse. Love is blind. Just like it does not see colour, caste, creed, money, it also does not see "SEX".
Love can be defined in different ways. That is why the popular serial "F.R.I.E.N.D.S." was a great success. Love is friendship, remember SRK said in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai...???

I hope no one thinks or feels controversial stuffs when they see girls together or guys. Not always everything is controversial. After all without love how can days pass by...

Love is a blessing. Very few people gets the chance to truly love and be loved back. Love can be aesthetic, spiritual, emotional, etc etc. I believe best love is between friends. You know what, I don't feel like falling in love or getting hooked because I got so nice friends. I can live my whole with them. Its the best. Why destroy life by loving just one person :-D... Love your friends, have fun with them. Do things which never thought. Yes you can do everything, but just try once. I know. Its Awwwwwwwwwwsome...!!! Hihihi...

I saw a guy today. He was good looking. I felt butterflies but they went away as soon as he went. I didn't feel even to follow him or etc etc. Coz I was rather having much more awesome time with my friends. So Love friends :-P Forget Boyfriend and Girlfriend... They'll always restrict you big time... Why destroy liberty after all... Hihihi ;-)