Women Are Complicated Coz' Society Made Them So
“A world clouded by
conflict, hypocrisies of philandering men, impassioned strains of domestic life
and the seething silences of women. The only solace in a woman's life is her
children. The constant support of the children remains a touchstone in life until
their own revelations sends her beliefs into a spin. Most stories are about
broken household followed and accompanied by chasing happiness and restoring
beauty to one’s life.”
This is an extract, edited and constructed in my own to
present the story of most houses where violence is just a passing phenomenon. A
woman’s life is about being born into a patriarchal society dominated by
culture and ethics, growing up pleasing her parents and then getting married
and bringing up her children to please her husband and her in-laws. Where
growing up means compromising one’s own dreams to that of her parents’ and
societies’ so-called manners, marriage is about adjusting. However not every
women face such a life but most of them do.
A lot has been said, written, discussed and argued about the
way women are treated. A lot of organizations have come up trying to help and
aware not only women about their rights but the people too. But violence or the
way women has been living cannot be eradicated unless women themselves want it
to. It is this area where no one, one outer force can help. A person unwilling
to be helped cannot be helped.
Let us put
forward a small story of a woman who is respected in the society and been
brought up in the most liberal way yet her married life is one secret and the
daily emotional turmoil she faces.
She came
from a well to do family and has been brought up in the most liberal way
compared to other girls who grew up with her. She trusted her parents and their
decisions to marry the man of their choice. Soon after she settled in her job,
she was married off. Everything seem fine, two children were born until she
discovered that her husband is one abuser and drunkard. He abused her
emotionally for every failure be it about a small water leak in the kitchen or
unable to pay the electricity bill. She was bashed up from first to last. Her
children saw this. One grew up to leave the mother alone with the abusive
father and the later stayed on trying to save the mother. However she refused
to be helped. She said it is for what society will say she stayed on, it is for
the betterment of the children and their future and lastly she chased happiness
in small things and hoped of a better life like once it used to be before the
children were born
The effect
of such a house had its mark on the children too. The one child who left turned
out to be like the father, adapting the ways of the abuser and for the younger
one, it was like the mother, silence was the best weapon and adjusting and
compromising to abuses, hoping that later the younger one will have a better
life, away from this place.
However such
has its effects on the future that can’t be changed. Such are women who give in
to this abuses and violence in the name of ‘what society will say and for the
better of the children. ’
That is not
the end. Then there are women who treat women badly and inflict the same amount
of pain which they had gone through once. It is the theory of “I have gone
through it and now you will to, it is a ritual.”
I strongly
believe women have no respect for women more than men. However not all;
generalizing would not be right. There are women who treat their fellow sex in
such a rowdy way those men who witness such feels disgusted and sick. And what
about these children, daughters who are brought up in dysfunctional houses and
grow up to treat both the parents in abusive way and daughters who hold the
mother responsible for all the faults and blames that she hasn’t been able to
bring them well and she failed to adjust.
Be it domestic
or foreign, violence and abuses against women should be put end to. Even
society treats women in a stereotyped way as if women were born to face such
atrocities and if any women have any problem in their life it is because of her
fault. Sometimes it is but not always.
Having
written all this I would like to conclude, women who face such situations still
and succumb to it have their own reasons. However this shouldn’t be the case.
The future should learn from the mistakes and wrong doings of today to make
sure they don’t the same life like their past. Some are affected while growing
up in such unfit environment which takes a long time to disappear. But it is
these from which they should learn and make sure they don’t provide such
unhealthy future to their future.
P.S. This
post is not only for Violence Against Women but for the young who should learn
to make sure their future isn’t as regretting as they have witnessed. The
future entirely depends on their own actions and decisions they make.
Women Are Complicated Coz' Society Made Them So
![Women Are Complicated Coz' Society Made Them So]()
Reviewed by Sudatta
on
October 20, 2011
Rating: 5