I must confess, I have a big problem out of many problems that fill up my small clustered cupboard. I get upset when I am not able to achieve a goal that I have set for myself. I try to get my mind off the failure by watching a movie and usually it turns out to be a sad selection. The upset further increases and turns to frustration.

Guide - How to handle depression?

Understanding You: Depression

Five years back falling asleep was as easy as reading a book to me. If I wanted I could sleep over any worry and any sadness. Sleeping was my one and only medicine to all problems. However, now even that seems to be a big problem.



This is what depression does to you. You try to sleep but you can't. Your mind crowded with thoughts of you unable to achieve the goals that you have set for yourself. You twist and turn in your bed till tears start rolling down yours cheeks. You remember everything from your childhood. All that you miss, all the people you spent the major time of your childhood with, the things you told them, the way you separated from them. It all comes back to you. Your mind starts stimulating the thoughts and increases the uncomfortableness. It is uneasy. By the time you fall asleep it is time to get up and waking up can be really painful.

Guide - How to handle depression?

Understanding You: Depression

You wake with a drowsy feeling. Your head aches. You get ready, have too much of caffeine and the time and adversities at the office increase your disgust for life.

You try to motivate yourself by going through random self-motivating posts. You share them with the whole world. You send out affirmations because that is what 'The Secret' tells you. However, life is still the same.

You have failed and you are failing and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Death seems to the only way or succumbing to the suffering.

You are not alone. Look around you. You are reading this. You alone do not suffer this unpleasant disease that you refuse to accept is a part of your life now. Forget what the society feels and says. Think about yourself. You need to get over it.

Dear friend, if you need help, or anyone you know needs help, we are just a call away.

Here is how you can change your life. Here are the remedies. Embrace it. Share it. Do not shy away.

Guide - How to handle depression?

Understanding You: Depression

Depression - /dɪˈprɛʃ(ə)n/ - feelings of severe despondency and dejection. "self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression". a long and severe recession in an economy or market. "the depression in the housing market"

Imagine yourself, sitting on a chair, in an empty house. Your mind is full of thoughts, starting from wanting to become someone great to destroying your life, because you believe you won't be able to achieve or attain that state of prominence.

Imagine yourself in a crowded room. You are in an animated mood. You are conversing with people. People are intrigued by you, you entertain them, they love you. But, inside you, you are not sure, you do not believe anything you say.

Whatever, you have been doing at this point of time, till this very moment, you judge everything. You wonder whether life itself is true. Going to sleep is a problem for you, waking up is worse.

You don't want to share this with anyone, not even the man who loves you, not even the family that dotes on you. You are scared that they will be scared and they would want to take care of you. However, you want to be alone, you are unsure whether they will understand you, in this struggle.

You thrive for love, longing, peace, stability. But, you don't believe that it is worth that pain, it is worth that wait, or time, or energy.

You take double the time to write one sentence; you take triple the time to satisfy yourself by sentence, you have just written. Next morning, you regret that yesterday ever happened.

You are suffering, and you want to be cured. But, you are too ashamed or too unconfident that people will understand. Your whole life has been about running away from the truth, escaping from the very meaning and purpose of your life.

Impulse rules you; rationalism irritates you. You hallucinate; you soliloquize.

You stare, you think about what you are trying to think. There is an emptiness inside your heart and stomach, it is being filled up by oblivion. You close your eyes, you want to sleep, but you can't. Your mind is stimulating thoughts, too fast for you to put in a pensive and analyse it later.

It is morning, you need to get up. Three cups of tea, seven cups of coffee. Caffeine is your best friend. At night, alcohol is your husband. And, scag is your extra-marital affair.

You are not surviving. You are a living death. And then, pop. It's over.

You have woken up from the dream. Was it psychosis?