Believe it or not, being single can be exasperating. More often than not, others (who are obviously not single) confuse it with being independent or confident or even being self-sufficient. Unfortunately, not all are the same. And sometimes, being single comes with its own set of downs and negatives — finding yourself alone in a room full of couples, ending up with a complete stranger on a wedding table because he was the only person in the list of invitees who were single and then moments when you needed someone to punch or talk to or just sit on the couch and watch telly. Being single isn't always cool, couples, it is a choice one makes or one grows up being content with.

However, finding yourself on the flight, sitting in the middle seat and then flying further with then towards your final destination and being schooled about why one should be NOT single, can be quite a long ending journey of self-doubt and questioning.

Such was the case recently. Coronavirus aside (I am not being sarcastic or insensitive to the situation currently we are facing globally), being single is probably the biggest problem faced in the world today, according to my fellow travelers. Last year, an article on how the number of singles are rising and people are declining marriages have probably left many married people worried. For example, 4.3 percent of the population worldwide is single. The number might look small but if you calculate it against the population of the world, that's quite a lot. However, all that didn't matter for my co-passengers. So they decided to spend almost close to seven hours, explaining how it is important to be with someone. Here are the top five reasons why I or any single person shouldn't be single.



You don't have to worry about bills, alone. 

While that is really not something I would put on the top reasons why I (sometimes) dislike being alone, I totally agree on that point. As a child growing up in quite a privileged household, worrying about loans, debts or bills wasn't something I ever have to face. We, as kids, we're taught to respect our finances and financial situations, but worrying about bills was for the elders. Unfortunately, when you are growing up, the only things that you worry about is achieving your dreams and ambitions. Finances and bills are the least of our worries. And, suddenly you find yourself sitting on your dining table, going through numerous bills — rent, electricity, water, phone, mobile, broadband, etc. And you spend the last week before the final date paying off every penny that you had saved probably for a mani-pedi (it can be something else for you) and you are scared to look at your bank balance.

Here's the things — having someone around does not mean that you two get to share your finances in maintaining the house or paying off the bills, but sometimes, it is about sharing the emotions and feelings, which according to my co-passengers is something our generation has completely forgotten.

I completely agree. I quite often find myself calling my mother and telling her about the bills I had to pay or the money that I might be taking out of the savings account. Sometimes, I even talk to my cat about the amount of money I spent behind broadband connections. It is weird, but talking about it to someone feels good.

You are always discovering something new — whether it is food or movie choices.

Well, I have to be honest, I wasn't expecting this as a reason why one shouldn't be single. But, it was one of the most exciting and unimaginable reasons I have come across. But here it goes. When you are alone or single, you can live just by eating whatever is available around you. (I strongly don't do that anymore, but that is completely true). "You eat cereals for dinner and instant noodles for breakfast. Most days you don't eat breakfast and you find yourself eating a sandwich for lunch. And vegetables are your worst enemy and the food delivery guy is your best friend."

However, if you have someone around you can experiment about foods. And while you are doing that, you discover that your partner likes quiche, maybe just like you. Well, it doesn't sound really interesting but, let me give you an example of movies — your partner likes watching action movies (such a cliche, isn't it), but then you don't want to watch Die Hard every day. You want to watch something light-hearted, something warm, something romantic. And as you are browsing through the list of movies available on Prime or Netflix or Hulu or whatever, you come to know — your partner is a big fan of Bridesmaids movie. Seriously! From Die Hard to Bridesmaids, I guess you never saw that coming? But, throughout your time together, you tend to discover or find something new about each other always. Unless you live a very secretive life or you are a blabbermouth.

There is always someone to look after the kids or even pets.

This was a point made with a lot of hesitation. However, examples were given and the reason was wholeheartedly accepted. Whether you are married or not, whether you have a pet or a kid or not, there are days and times when you want to go out and spend time with your friends. Not only, but there are also times when you have to leave town for work. So where do you leave your kid or pet or even a house which has plants or etc.? Your partner can compromise and look after the kid or the pet or even the plant as you spend time with your friends or when you are out-of-town busy with work.

But what then what happens when both of you have to go out? Even though I am a bit unsure about the reasoning, but, I will leave it to you.

"When you and your partner are out of town, you can ask your mother or father to look after the kids? If you think grandparents don't like babysitting your children, you are wrong. They love spending time around their grandchildren. You just have to let them be. Stop worrying, request politely and go away. And if they are not around, you can always ask your siblings and even if they are not around, ask your friend. But that will be too much. When there are two people, you will always find someone or the other to look after the things that matter. Alone, being single, you come across independent and fully capable of taking care of everything around you, but that isn't true. And someone else wouldn't understand that."

Even though I might disagree with some of the points, I guess there is some truth in the reason.

Treating your partner as a punching bag.

"If you had a bad day at work, and you can't shout at anyone because it is impolite or you don't want to come across as someone angry, you can always come home and shout at your partner. I don't think he will take it nicely but, when you have vented it all out, he will surely understand."

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology a few years ago did mention that if you are keeping things to yourself from your significant others or anyone if you are keeping secrets, the weight of it can not only be damaging but can kill you. Although, I do not promote turning your partner into a punching bag, sometimes having someone around to talk to, can do wonders. Especially, when you do not want to disturb your friends or even the closest family member with your worries. I totally agree with this point.

You can live your life fighting with just one person, someone who wouldn't mind.

Taking turns for doing things.

"Whether it is picking up groceries, or cleaning the house or even cooking, you can always share it with someone, and if you don't want to do that on that particular day, you can ask your partner to do it and maybe return the favor later."

It is nice to have someone with whom you can share your chores, especially if you are living all by yourself in a house that needs constant maintaining. However, when I was told most the reasons, my reply was, "We can also have a roommate or flatmate and share the chores." The reply was, "Well, you can, but your significant other wouldn't complain or mind doing it. Whereas, whenever you are tired or you don't want to clean the bathroom, you can't go running to your flatmate to do it for you, can you?"

Probably, yes.

There were many more reasons. And, honestly, most of it can be shared with a nice understanding roommate or flatmate too. However, I stopped living alone and decided on "no more flatmate" after a very distressful encounter. I love being on my own, having the place to myself, on my own terms. Although, I totally agree with some of the points shared by my lovely yet overtly nosy co-passengers, living alone or being single is different from being with someone or sharing your personal space with someone. Although I am not closed to the idea, having spent many years being on my own, you get used to the comfort of being alone or living life as a single person.

Yes, there are moments, when you want to talk to someone and I wish someone could do my chores and when I want to throw a punch around, but there are other ways of tackling such situations. Especially, when you do not have to compromise or adjust or fight over what to watch or what to eat. But, that is just me. Being with someone can be wonderful, but it is surely not the same as being single or alone or being free or independent or whatever label you would like to put next to it. Everyone has a reason for being how they are and everybody has there moments.

P.S. Stay safe folks, work from home, listen to music and spend time with your dear ones, doing things that you love. Here's my Spotify Playlist and if you want to recommend any songs, please do share!

Photo Courtesy - Arundhati Chatterjee.