Friday, 2 November 2012

I will defeat you in Thinking

I realised long time back that people cannot survive without thinking. And if any person today say I don't think, he or she is practically living a life of lie.

I am one of those folks who thinks too much. Earlier I used to think if there is any job which pays for sleeping then I would have become millionaire by the end of my college. But, with present circumstances, I guess if there is any job which pays for thinking, I can become a billionaire by 25.

The amount of thinking I would do, is a Guiness record itself. For example, travelling to office, I am listening to Why Georgia by John Mayer, writing all these but thinking of work and extended work. So you see how much of thinking I can do. Noise, place, crowd doesn't matter to me. Okay, while writing all these, another thought crosses my mind, that I didn't water the plants! See the multi-layer thinking I can do?

My thoughts are like multi-level random networking. And I 'THINK' I can do well with the thinking process.

If Dumbledore had to present his Pensieve, I am sure it would have seem so small to me. I need a Pensieve an hour.

With that thought, and lots of random thoughts that I have no control of, like lunatic sperms, I sign off. Let the people around me Rest In Their Own Thoughts.

Leaving with thought - "O re manwa tu to bawra hai. Tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai."

(The Black Rose Gal is soon going to City of Joy and is feeling restless. Her mind and thoughts are all scattered all over her place!)

Friday, 28 September 2012

MCA Diaries: Finding my way into Mumbai's cricketing culture

It has been quite some time when I last wrote a blog post. It is going to be two months now that I had written the last post and I, sincerely, don’t have any excuse for not writing. I have come across so many people, who even in their busy, and mind you, damn busy schedule manage to keep writing, not one or two posts but almost 350+ posts a year. And they aren’t paid for that! It is the passion that drives them. Not that my desire of writing is any less, just am a bit too comfortable in my lazy zone.

Having said all that, I have been real busy and a lot of things have been keeping me busy. No matter how much I work, I always find 24 hours too short for a day. Again it is the mind. However, there has been are few interesting things that has been keeping me busy – My job, my dreams, desire, and life in my favourite city.

So when I made a visit to this particular place, where I have visited more than five times in this month by now, I decided to type down my MCA diaries. Now take my blog to be my diary and this post to be one of those pages!

MCA Diary – September 26, 2012


By now I have gulped the Expressway route to Bandra Kurla Complex (BKC) and literally I found it tiring to visit that place. Yes it is true, the area always gave me an elevated feeling of – “look I am in an up-market area,” but more than that I still believe BKC should had been a place for Formula One rather than some NCR area. And Hamilton’s visit just proved my point.

Anyways, I hadn’t decided to visit BKC today. More particularly MCA aka Mumbai Cricket Association. Being a cricket journalist is no fun, if you don’t make these frequent visits to MCA (be it BKA or Wankhede) and CCI (grandeur). So after starting my day’s work, around 9:30 AM when my colleague called that I should come as there was someone to handle my work at office, I was like – “okay let’s do this.”


I got ready and as I was getting ready, the idea of travelling in a train bugged me. I had a good-night’s sleep and I didn’t want to destroy my rested body to get tired of the journey. And the idea of travelling via Dharavi and crossing all that stupid traffic irritated me. I had only one option, travel via Kurla and this was a route that I was yet to perceive.

Anyways, I prepared myself and left for the interview that me and my colleague had long planned for (as we wanted to get done with it).

I left and was lucky enough to find a kind rickshaw that at the first approach didn’t refuse to travel. And finally I was on my way, via a new route, to MCA.

As I was approaching MCA, I realized, am yet to know many parts of my city well. And this I realized so late as I found myself to reach within fifteen minutes, which previously used to take at least half an hour. Yes, very funny.

As I entered, this time, the welcome was far different than the first time. When I had gone for the first time, like a lost kid, I found myself being blocked by three security guards – “Tumi Sir ko phone karo, wohi ake apko leke jayenge.” And my reaction used to be – “Kya re? Mera interview lega kya woh?”

Anyways, a lot changed in one month. The guards know me well and as soon as I approached, not three, but five of them saluted. Being a humble human being, I saluted back in my own style. (Yes I am humble :->)

I didn’t had to mention who I came to meet and funny part I didn’t even realize the guards already knew whom I went to meet. Before I could sit at the lobby and have a glass of water, I found myself being escorted to the practice ground, facing few of the famous Mumbai cricketers. They clearly seem to had finished with their practice session, however, I have no idea, whether out of boredom or “I am just chilling”, they were roaming near the nets.


Slowly they wrapped up and the person-of-honour had appeared, however, he had other plans of keeping us waiting. I didn’t mind as long as I could admire the field, the empty gallery, antique structure and some occasional hi-hellos.

The interview got over in no time, without we realizing that none of the replies worth it. He kept us waiting, finally he came, he saw, he fooled and left. (Not literally).


While leaving we found some television commercial being shot. My eyes even found an Albie Morkel look-alike. But sadly it wasn’t the real.

However, this visit has been a totally different from the first and even the last time I visited. I always used to take out sometime to check the picture on the wall, pictures of Ranjitsinhji, early days of Mumbai cricket, etc. And moreover, the recognition that I have acquired in such a short time. The salutes make me feel good but more than that it’s cricket and the fun of visiting one of the finest cricketing academies.

 P.S. My favourite is still Brabourne!

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Moving into my new home - Starting a new journey

Time – 01:16 AM Date – July 04, 2012

I always wanted a house of my own. When I was in Calcutta, I always dreamt of having a bungalow of my own but never in the city of joy. My ultimate dream was to come and live in Bombay, for me and many others the city of dreams. I came. Went on visualizing a place of my own. An apartment which I can decorate the way I wanted. 

Today when I am writing this, after six months of living in Bombay (not that this is my first visit but living on my own), I am writing from my own apartment, even though sharing with two more girls, listening to my favourite music – John Denver, Jim Morrison, Lobo, John Mayer, I feel full of joy and satisfied. I fought and struggled to get this place. I got. And then found two other girls with whom I can share this place, not that am so keen on. An intellectual and liberal mind of mine likes to live and enjoy solitude. However now that I have everything, I miss something, miss sharing this joy of ‘look this is my place, my own home that I have always wanted’ with someone.

This is not my dream home but the home that sets my path to my dream life. Hopefully, on this journey of building the desired life for myself, I will find someone with whom I can share the joy. Private and loved. And then I don’t have to blog down these wishes.I believe in my dreams, I believe in the power of visualizing, I believe in me.

P.S. I walked in the rain today, alone, felt good. Bombay rains – thou I love. Currently listening to John Mayer’s Who says! “It’s been a long night in New York City (Bombay for me), It’s been a long time since 22, I don’t remember you looking any better Then again I don’t remember, don't remember you”.

[Black Rose Gal is a dreamer, dreams big and is not a crazy mad girl. She believes she is a visionary ;-)]

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Dear Dad, Yours loving Step-daughter

Dear Dad,

I was 9 when I first met you. Mom married again. And your ex-wife passed away. I didn’t know what it meant to be a step-daughter. Whenever I heard anyone say, “She is the step-daughter,” I felt it meant the child who learns to live on the steps of her father. I wanted to and I tried to live my life on your foot-steps. I hope I was able to.

When I was 15, you taught what high-school meant. While mom was teaching me about menopause and sex, I was learning you and your life. I differentiated each and every guy I met with you. Like Miranda, for me you were the only man I knew, even though there were lots of them around me then.

When I turned 18, we started moving far away. I used to hear you and mom discuss about your new daughter. I felt cheated, I felt jealous. I felt murderous. I knew I was growing up, I was going through a phase but I needed you, to help me tackle the inner evil that was drifting me away from you. I couldn’t bear the pain of slow separation.

As I entered my 21st birthday, you were there, smiling at me, with me, happy, cheering me up. But yet you were not there. I could feel myself separated from you. Like a just born child, cut off from the umbilical cord of the mother, I felt so, cutting away from you.

And then things started falling apart. I learnt what step-daughter meant. I did everything you asked me not to. I felt broken, shattered, and even guilty while doing everything that I promised I wouldn’t but hoping that my mistakes will make you rescue me.

A year later, we were in the same house. I lived my own life. You your own. Your nice little world. You, my mom and you and my mom’s daughter.

That night, I came late. Something happened. I don’t even remember. I just knocked on your door. I saw your eyes. You were hurt but it wasn’t I who did it. You were hurt for other reasons. I wanted you to tell me. You didn’t.

It’s now going to be a year. I miss you. I can’t remember your face, I can’t remember what were the things that we promised to do. I can’t even remember your birthday.

All I remember is the last words. It’s 1:50 AM. You were never my father. I was never your daughter. But we shared a bond. Unspoken. Beyond heart, soul, mind and blood.

I didn’t lose you, a year back. We lost ourselves. I miss you but things would have remained the same, had you been alive today. And I wish you were alive today to see that even in mistakes you are the only one I think about. And I will still follow your steps. Coz I am your step-daughter and you are my step-father.

Your step-daughter.

I still follow your foot-steps.

The above letter is fictional and doesn't relate anyone in particular. 

Sunday, 8 January 2012

The Anonymous World

It has been quite sometime that I have been thinking about a word. A word, whose history is not known to me in exact date or place.

‘Anonymous’ – Cambridge defines the word as “made or done by someone whose name is not known or not made public” or “having no unusual or interesting feature.”

I came across the word during my last days on the famous, now lost, social networking site – Orkut. At first it was a cool feature. I could hide my identity and abuse or attack anyone who usually attacked me. However the feature was never used. Instead a lot of ‘anonymous’ replies and a lot of 'anonymous' interactions happened.

A feeling of being harassed by unknown people and a sick-feeling arouse. I instantly changed my settings, made sure there are no 'anonymous' interactions or replies and friend requests came across.

Although to make sure that the traffic was being received, I had to make the change back to open ids and anonymous replies. The result - one developed an ignorant, cold, nonchalant attitude.

In school, we were taught that interactions and discussions enhanced our knowledge grow and we learnt from the bad and the good of the opposite person. Here on the web world what we learnt that abusing is the coolest form of interaction that can happen and one with the ‘anonymous’ can escape counter-attack or counter-attack abuses precisely, easily. Bottom-line, we stopped interacting and strongly ignored 'anonymous' replies, comments and interactions.

The word 'anonymous' came into the web-world in 2003, if I am not wrong. Did it hit instant popularity? I have no clue about it. Although a lot of 'anonymous' activities were observed by me.

In 2011, the year which concluded it has grown to such an extent that everywhere the replies appear as ‘anonymous’.

Is this an identity crisis of people or the cool thing or a fear of speaking the truth and escaping from attack and most recently hacking.

It is so easy to point out such issues but real hard to find the solutions. The most appropriate solution can be giving up and removing the option ‘anonymous’ from the web-world or any other type of world where it is available.

There has been a lot said and written on the particular word and its usage. Pranksters to hackers. A kind of activism. What it is the need of such a group or word? Where is the end?

This is one of the few such features of the internet that are most hated and like one rotten apple has been rotting the whole popularity of World Wide Web.

They are like terrorists, waiting to pound over us, forcing us to listen to them and agree to their words.

The above is the screenshot of a video by the famous Anonymous group. Here is the link - Anonymous

If we are to progress and make our lives better then we have to change such features and make the ones who question the abilities of the internet change side by side.

Now the reason behind having such a group? What is the mindset of the people who form this group?

Inability to express freely? Or as stated before they are like a set of people forcing people to accept or agree whatever they do?

Collection of news on 'Anonymous' group

My conclusion will be, we need to think about 'anonymous' and 'anonymity' as a whole. I don’t think no one will agree that 'anonymous' is good factor or a positive feature that is keeping the web alive or will keep it alive. Yes we can choose to ignore and live our life but however, don’t we already ignore a lot of stuff on the internet? Then the thing will be that from the anonymous world we will be changing into the nonchalant world.