Sunday, 5 February 2012

Dear Dad, Yours loving Step-daughter


Dear Dad,

I was 9 when I first met you. Mom married again. And your ex-wife passed away. I didn’t know what it meant to be a step-daughter. Whenever I heard anyone say, “She is the step-daughter,” I felt it meant the child who learns to live on the steps of her father. I wanted to and I tried to live my life on your foot-steps. I hope I was able to.

When I was 15, you taught what high-school meant. While mom was teaching me about menopause and sex, I was learning you and your life. I differentiated each and every guy I met with you. Like Miranda, for me you were the only man I knew, even though there were lots of them around me then.

When I turned 18, we started moving far away. I used to hear you and mom discuss about your new daughter. I felt cheated, I felt jealous. I felt murderous. I knew I was growing up, I was going through a phase but I needed you, to help me tackle the inner evil that was drifting me away from you. I couldn’t bear the pain of slow separation.

As I entered my 21st birthday, you were there, smiling at me, with me, happy, cheering me up. But yet you were not there. I could feel myself separated from you. Like a just born child, cut off from the umbilical cord of the mother, I felt so, cutting away from you.

And then things started falling apart. I learnt what step-daughter meant. I did everything you asked me not to. I felt broken, shattered, and even guilty while doing everything that I promised I wouldn’t but hoping that my mistakes will make you rescue me.

A year later, we were in the same house. I lived my own life. You your own. Your nice little world. You, my mom and you and my mom’s daughter.

That night, I came late. Something happened. I don’t even remember. I just knocked on your door. I saw your eyes. You were hurt but it wasn’t I who did it. You were hurt for other reasons. I wanted you to tell me. You didn’t.

It’s now going to be a year. I miss you. I can’t remember your face, I can’t remember what were the things that we promised to do. I can’t even remember your birthday.

All I remember is the last words. It’s 1:50 AM. You were never my father. I was never your daughter. But we shared a bond. Unspoken. Beyond heart, soul, mind and blood.

I didn’t lose you, a year back. We lost ourselves. I miss you but things would have remained the same, had you been alive today. And I wish you were alive today to see that even in mistakes you are the only one I think about. And I will still follow your steps. Coz I am your step-daughter and you are my step-father.

Lovingly,
Your step-daughter.

I still follow your foot-steps.

The above letter is fictional and doesn't relate anyone in particular. 

7 comments:

fazal said...

Love, care, anguish, pain, You can't explain in words. But Love is the most i found in the words.

Arti Honrao said...

I agree with Fazal. Love is the most "we" found in the words.
Very well written!


GBU
Arti

thetwistedframes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
aanchal said...

i too read it a few times..:-)
loved it

Archana Chari said...

Wow, this is so beautifully written. I love the way you have explored fiction here!

Dr Roshan R said...

wow.. I really am sorry for your loss..

Mohit Sureka said...

it was beautifully written, the last line killed the soul. it became sexy.